Sewing, Friends, cats and Tea

Handmade Bagpuss

When I started this journey all those years ago, I had only one expectation: to learn how to sew. Now, we all know that I can sew, even if my style leans more shabby than chic, but what I didn’t expect was to gain friends. What began as a necessity quietly turned into a joy: sewing, friends, cats, and tea. Not necessarily in that order.

My adult life had mostly been about work, and I didn’t really give myself the chance to build relationships with the people around me. I suppose you could say that 2017 was a big year, almost like a rebirth. It was the year I started living for myself… and my cats.

My weekends soon became just as busy as my working week. Saturdays would begin with a pot of tea and a toasted sandwich at a local café, where I’d started to make friends with the owner and staff. It was small and cosy, with the comforting feel of someone’s kitchen. It didn’t matter who you were or where you were from, everyone was welcome. Conversations drifted freely across tables, pulling people together and allowing friendships to form naturally.

I had lived in this village for six years and barely knew a soul, but The Copper Cup changed that almost overnight. Sadly for the locals, the café is no longer there, but the friendships live on, and the business is still owned by the same amazing baker. Her homemade blueberry and white chocolate scones? Honestly, life-changing.

With a full belly and another Copper Cup special in hand, I’d head off to whichever textiles course I was attending. On each course I met new people, and forming connections always felt easy, we were all there for the same reason. We loved sewing. Before long, it became clear that we shared far more than just fabric and thread.

The courses were never just about learning a new skill; they became social events. Choosing fabrics was rarely a solo task — it usually turned into a full group discussion. Everyone had an opinion, and let’s be honest, colour matching isn’t easy, especially for someone like me who struggles to make even the simplest decision.

Picking fabrics meant narrowing it down to five you loved out of about a hundred. You didn’t want too many patterns, but you also didn’t want it to look flat. Do you add a plain to soften the look, or do you go big? I’ve always lived by go big or go home, although that mindset has softened as I’ve got older. These days, I’m quite happy blending into the background… but nobody wants a boring quilt.

I’ve since discovered that having a plan when selecting fabric is essential, but I’ll save that wisdom for another time.

Where was I? Friends. There does seem to be a common thread with crafters: they all love tea, cake, baking, and cats. I’d found my people. It was always a group you’d never expect to put together, yet every lesson was filled with laughter and warmth, stories old and new, shared cakes, and a constantly full teapot. We even knew each other’s tea orders.

Everyone became so comfortable in the shop that it felt like being in a friend’s house. Flicking the kettle on didn’t need permission. Some people even started bringing their own teabags. As time went on, the classes settled into the same core group, a proper hardcore bunch. They even began meeting up for social stitches.

Sorry! Handmade Gift. Doorstop

I didn’t always attend. No matter how much I like people, I can find group situations overwhelming. There’s often so much going on: excited chatter, twenty conversations at once, laughter, the kettle screaming, biscuit packets rustling, and the clatter of crochet hooks. My often absence was never an issue, they understood.

What I once thought was just me being socially awkward turned out to be ADHD. I was diagnosed in June 2025… along with what felt like the rest of the adult female population.

Friendship doesn’t have to be loud, busy, or constant to be real. You don’t need to be everywhere, every time, with everyone. Sometimes you just need one or two people who get you, the ones who don’t question your absence, don’t take it personally, and don’t need explaining.

The friends who know your tea order, who understand when you dip in and out, and who are happy to sit in comfortable silence while something stitches itself together between you. No pressure. No expectations. Just a shared cuppa and an unspoken understanding.

I’ve learned that I don’t thrive in noise or numbers, and that’s okay. Friendship, like sewing, isn’t about how much you use, it’s about choosing the right pieces and letting them work together. One good cup of tea, with the right person, will always beat twenty noisy ones.

Some of the wonderful people I’ve met have made me some of my most treasured things. Whenever I look at them, I’m filled with warmth and reminded that, no matter how I feel inside, there are a few who truly care, and some of them, well… they make me laugh until it hurts.

These friendships have taught me something I didn’t learn until much later in life: I don’t need to change who I am to belong. I don’t need to be louder, more present, or constantly available. The right people don’t need a polished version of me,  they’re quite happy with the slightly chaotic, tea-fuelled, often absent one.

That same acceptance has woven its way into my creative journey too. More Shabby Than Chic was never about perfection or trends; it was about making things that feel honest, comforting, and a little bit wonky in the best possible way. Much like me, really. Every stitch, choice of fabric, and finished piece reflects learning to work with who I am, not against it.

Building this brand has been as much about self-acceptance as it has been about sewing. It’s about knowing that it’s okay to take your time, to do things differently, and to value meaning over noise. Just like friendship, you don’t need a crowd, you just need the right fit.

You know you are friends when they give you drinks coaster of cats bottoms.